The Mrs. Rev Podcast: Dealing with Conflict
Conflict is a part of being human. Some people prefer to respond to conflict passively and hope it will go away on its own. Other people prefer to confront the situation head-on. Regardless of your personal preference, the Bible tells us how we, as Christians, should respond when we are facing a conflict, disagreement, or offense involving another person.
Q: What is your natural reaction when you are offended or in conflict with another person? How do you feel when you have to address conflict?
The Bible tells us to do all that we can to live in peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). This means that instead of avoiding conflict or rushing in to tell the other person why they are wrong, we need to approach the other person in love. When you approach someone in love, you are putting aside your own wants and creating an atmosphere of peace so that your relationship can be restored.
It might seem counter-intuitive, but God shows us that sometimes the greatest act of love is to confront someone. Think of how many times God has corrected you! When God corrects you, it restores and strengthens your relationship. It is the same when we confront our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Tips for Confronting Someone
When you are confronting someone, don’t respond immediately. Take some time to think about it or sleep on it.
Don’t only pray about a situation, pray for the other person. Praying for the other person will help put the situation in perspective and help you keep your heart pure toward them.
Don’t over-respond and create a bigger issue. Deal with one issue at a time.
Q: Do you find it easy or hard to pray for people who have hurt you? How do you feel when you do pray for them?
According to the Bible, these are the steps for confronting someone:
Go to the person one-on-one and tell them your offense.
If they don’t listen, take someone you trust and mutually respect to help advocate and mediate.
If they still do not listen, take it to the church/pastor.
There is an anointing when brothers and sisters work together in unity. Just like any other area of our lives, dealing with conflict is an area where God wants to make us more like Him. He is constantly working on our hearts and helping us to respond in a way that will honor both Him and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Here are a few scriptures that can help remind you what God says about dealing with conflict:
“‘You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.’” Matthew 5:43-48
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.” Psalm 37:8
“An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.” Proverbs 29:22
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
“A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.” Proverbs 14:17
”A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating.” Proverbs 18:6
“For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:12
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17
Pray This: Father, thank you for forgiving and correcting me. I love your wisdom and instruction. Help me to be even more attune to your voice and to quickly deal with any conflict in my life. Help me to overcome any obstacle that is preventing me from dealing with conflict so that I can live in perfect peace with you and with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And when someone corrects me, help me to respond with an open heart. Thank you for making me more and more like you, God. I thank you for all of this in Jesus’ name, Amen!