Part Two Holiday Edition: Top Stresses in Marriage
In the last episode of the podcast, we talked about the added pressure the holiday season can bring on your family and spouse, and how with boundaries, setting standards, and operating as a unit, you can keep the peace during the holidays.
Unfortunately, the stress surrounding the holiday season doesn’t usually stop at family. Finances and the overall frenzy can quickly overwhelm couples, too!
One of the top areas of conflict within marriages, no matter what time of the year, is the stressor none other than finances. In general, finances are one of the top stressors and even rank high as a reason for divorce, so eliminating financial stress in any relationship is a top priority.
When examining finances and the root causes of why they are such an area of tension, it’s important to acknowledge that as a married couple, husband and wife are both bringing aspects that each have learned throughout their lives into the marriage–whether that be education on finances or spending and saving habits. Many times, there are two kinds of mindsets coming together, and this can generate conflict. How do you avoid this potential friction? Communication and compromise. Specifically during the holiday season, communication and compromise can avoid tension that is not only felt in December but the months that follow. It’s easy to want to try to keep up with what the world tells us is the “perfect Christmas,” but the world we live in is very materialistic. Although we seek to bless those we love, there is nothing you can buy materially that will offset the stress overspending puts on a marriage.
Don’t let a lack of a plan, discipline, or structure add stress to your marriage. Have a discussion ahead of time (not in the heat of the holidays) about what your expectations for Christmas are. A great practical way to do this is to simply ask “What do the holidays look like for us?” If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Nothing should take you off guard with finances any time of the year, but it’s especially important to control your budget during the holidays so you don’t set yourself up for trouble in the year to come. Communicate, plan, and set realistic expectations to avoid financial strife.
Between family and finances, the holiday season brings a whole lot of frenzy! Before you know it, the hurried holiday atmosphere can create a breakdown in connection with your spouse. Marriage isn’t a finish line. It all comes down to investing. Despite the busyness Christmastime brings, don’t forget to date your spouse. If you’re not investing in your marriage–like anything in life– you will not have a good return. Have fun! Take time together–wrap presents, take a walk in the snow, go on a coffee date to reconnect. Don’t allow the frenzy of the holiday season to make you so stressed that you push away or avoid your spouse.
Slow down and simplify the holiday season. Address the stresses head-on so your marriage can grow stronger and stronger. No matter the stressors–whether from family, finances, or frenzy– keep God at the center and keep working on your relationship together.