Holiday Edition: The Top Stresses in Marriage
SHOW NOTES:
If you have been celebrating holidays with family as a married couple for any number of years, you have surely felt the tension between wanting to make everyone happy and still being happy yourself. The holidays are a time of love, joy, and lots of festivities with family. However, sometimes amid all of the holiday fun and hustle and bustle of family gatherings, stress can work its way in between a husband and wife.
Marriages take work, especially during the holiday season. Once married, a husband and wife create a new family of their own, though the two are still pulled in many directions by mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents– you name it–they’re all vying for your attention. So how do you approach these seasonal stresses? It all comes down to proper communication!
Don’t wait until the day of the event or even worse, the event itself, to explain that you will only be able to visit for a short while. Establish boundaries ahead of time by having conversations within your marriage as well as with extended family members. Discuss how you can spend the most time with each side of the family–maybe that means going to one a little early so the other doesn’t feel slighted. Explain what you are and are not willing to compromise. Find what is most important to you as a couple, and ask how everyone else fits in. Having a healthy level of open communication done out of love helps avoid misconceptions or further issues later on. Communication is everything.
After all, love is central to everyone wanting to spend time with one another, so be sure to offer grace. Whether you’re newlyweds yourself or you have children who are recently married, resist putting pressure on others. Love is still the motivating factor and it can squelch a lot of things that could otherwise have been conflicts or disagreements. Choose to be motivated by love, not manipulation or passive aggression. Manipulation is not rooted in love, it is a result of selfishness. Yes, sometimes love means letting go of your preferences. Be an adult about it. When you keep love as the center focus, sowing love, love is what you will reap!
Don’t let immaturity rob you of the enjoyment of the holiday or disrupt the unity you have with your spouse. Wherever you are, be fully present, kind, and engaging. Family is so important; it’s a gift. So create boundaries, have the difficult conversations, cast a vision of your expectations and you’re sure to be set up for success—a holiday free from stress!