The Mrs. Rev Podcast: Am I a People Pleaser?
Do you find yourself looking toward your friends, co-workers, or even strangers to approve what you do and say? Do you worry about what will happen if you make a decision someone doesn’t like? Or, do you find yourself going along with what other people want to do, even if you disagree? If so, you might be a people pleaser!
If you allow other people to speak into your life, you will get weary and frustrate the grace of God in your life. God has set you apart and called and anointed you for a very specific purpose that no one else on Earth carries. Your ability to walk in your unique calling is a powerful thing, but you cannot fulfill your God-given purpose until you learn how to get your validation from God rather than people. Nobody other than the people who are closest to you and God should be given a voice in your life.
Q: How do you decide who gets to have a voice in your life? If you don’t have criteria, consider what their character should be and what kind of relationship you should have. Evaluate your relationships! If someone does not make the cut, make a conscious decision to guard your heart against what they say to you and weigh it against what God says about you.
3 things you need to know about pleasing people
1. It is impossible to please everybody
Even Jesus couldn’t please everyone. He stood up for what was right, and he didn’t change what he did or said based on if he was around religious leaders or sinners. If everybody liked you, that would mean that you were not standing up for what you believed, or you were morphing to fit in with the people around you. People are fickle, and even if you always try to go along with what others say or fit in with their personality, they could still find a reason not to like you. Your gifts and talents will not be received by everyone, and that is okay!
2. Your best is good enough!
Stop competing with others and measuring yourself against them! You put yourself in a dangerous situation if you are always comparing what you know about yourself with what you don’t know about others.
“Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of.” Galatians 6:4
God has created you with a unique calling and purpose. You being you is the most anointed thing that you can do! Instead of getting depressed and criticizing the weaknesses you see in yourself, thank God for your strengths and allow Him to fill you with joy from the inside. While it may feel good to be recognized or fit in, those things will never give you lasting strength. When your joy and peace come from your relationship with God and the knowledge that He loves you and created you for a purpose, you will find joy and strength that lasts through any circumstance!
3. Your voice matters!
Sometimes you can feel lost when you look at all the other people around you. Some people are great at singing or public speaking, while others know how to comfort others during difficult situations. It can seem like all the roles are already filled. But the reality is that even the best public speakers will not connect with every member of the audience. Even the most excellent host might not host a party that everyone enjoys. The fact is that everyone connects with people differently, and there are people who need to hear from you!
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10
What God has called you to do is significant, and there is no one who can replace you. Don’t believe the lie that your voice doesn’t matter or that someone else is better suited to share your message. Let God be your source of confidence. Your personality and past experiences shape your message, and God is relying on you to share your message.
Q: What message do you believe God has given you? What holds you back from sharing it with others? What lies might you be believing about yourself that are not in line with the Word of God? What verses or truths about how God feels about you could you meditate on instead of those lies?
Pray This: God, thank you for making me completely unique. Help me to see where I have relied on other people for validation. Lord, I’m sorry for putting other people’s opinions of me ahead of yours. I need your joy and strength to accomplish my purpose. Help me to move beyond trying to find validation from people and put my full trust in you. Thank you for using me to speak truth and life into those around me. As I step out and fully embrace my uniqueness, I thank you that you make my purpose even more clear to me. Your will matters more to me than my own human desires, and I will do what you call me to do, no matter what. I love you! In Jesus’ name, Amen.