Communication for Couples with Nathan Miller

If you want a marriage that will last, you must understand the keys to effective communication. Knowing how to talk about the areas of your relationship that are frustrating, challenging, or even painful is one of the skills that will keep your marriage healthy and strong. Today, join me and my husband, Pastor Nathan Miller, as we share from our personal experience what we believe to be the keys to effective communication in marriage. We'll talk about everything from misconceptions about communicating to active listening to how your cell phone habits may be affecting your relationship.

One of the most significant stresses in marriage comes from communication. The enemy loves to work in miscommunication to bring strife.

Communication is not just you talking and saying what you want to say. You have to wait, hear the response, and speak to understand. Communication is not just being listened to; it's being understood.

Practice Empathy and Active Listening

There are many ways we communicate, but active listening is undervalued. The goal of your conversations should not be just to hear what your spouse is saying. Focus on hearing the heart behind what they are saying. Try to understand their perspective and empathize before you start problem-solving.

Disconnect to Connect 

Many marriages struggle because couples are so busy with their own goals, chores, and struggles that they are distracted when they try to communicate. Remember, you can only do one thing at a time very well. An easy way to be more focused is to put your phone and other electronics away when talking to your spouse. When you have your phone, you're saying that you're not that important. My phone is more important.

Consider the Timing

When you have to talk to your spouse about something important, consider the timing behind the conversation. If your spouse is distracted, try waiting until they are free. If your kids are running around, you might want to wait until they go to bed so you can focus. 

 A Gentle Answer Turns Away Wrath

If your discussions start to get heated, remember that the Bible says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. You always have the choice to respond in a way that honors your spouse and de-escalates the conversation.

Pray this: Father God, thank you for my spouse. As we continue to work on our communication, help us to be selfless and compassionate. Root out any insecurity, fear, or pride inside of us so that we can be honest and open with each other. Thank you for helping our marriage grow and thrive and for leading us both, in Jesus' name, amen!