Becoming You Husband's Better Half
Married life is not always easy! The best marriages are created when people continually prefer one another, but there are so many things that can distract us from that goal and from walking in unity. Sometimes you might want to get angry with your spouse for failing to meet your needs. But remember, your spouse is not your completer. He does not bring you wholeness. Your wholeness is only found in Jesus Christ. If you try to find wholeness from your husband, you will feel defeated, disappointed, and resentful.
Discontentment in your marriage will also happen when you start comparing your relationship to a friend’s relationship or someone that you see on the internet. Keep your eyes focused on who God called you to be and on being the best wife you can be.
4 Tips for Becoming the Better Half
1. Spend time with Jesus every day.
Whether it is a few minutes or an hour, you will feel refreshed and refocused! The grace to become a better wife can only come from God.
Q: Do you notice a difference in how you treat your spouse when you do spend time with the Lord and when you don’t? If so, why do you think that is? What is the difference?
2. Adopt an attitude of selflessness.
Do not ask what your spouse can do for you, but what you can do for your spouse. When you focus on giving honor to your spouse, you stop judging what your spouse does or does not do for you. This can be hard when you are relying on your natural understanding because you see every part of their personality--the good, bad, and ugly. But when the Bible tells us to honor someone, it does not matter if they are worthy in the moment. You do it unto the Lord. Dishonor strips away authority in your home and will not only harm your relationship with your spouse but also his relationship with your kids.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
3. Choose to let go of the past.
Every relationship has challenges, but you need to make a willful decision to let go of those things. When you choose not to forgive, you let one bad moment define your relationship. God does not bring up your past! He does not let your past mistakes define you, and you should not let your spouse’s past mistakes define him or your relationship.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Q: Ask God to reveal any area of the past that you are holding onto.
4. Give yourself permission to be happy.
Just because things were difficult in the past does not mean that they will be in the future. Give yourself permission to expect good things to happen! Decide to hope and dream about the marriage you want to have. When you set different expectations, you will be amazed at the results you see!
Pray this: God, my desire is to be the best spouse that I can be and to help my husband accomplish every dream and desire you have put in his heart. Forgive me for holding onto past mistakes. Forgive me for every time I allowed my marriage to be defined by one negative moment. Today I am choosing to selflessly pursue my husband. Give me the grace and discipline to control my thoughts and to expect great things. Fill in the gaps where I fall short. I thank you for the husband you gave me and the marriage we have. I thank you it will be even better by this time next year! In Jesus’ name, Amen!