Purpose of Boundaries & Remaining in Love
Recently, I took a good look at the life of Joseph. Joseph, in the book of Genesis 37, has a dream. This dream seems to cause him nothing but hardship in his life. Joseph experiences betrayal and abandonment by his brothers; he is sold into slavery, and then as he serves with integrity and hard work, he is lied about and imprisoned. Then, things get worse. While in prison, Joseph uses his gift to interpret dreams and hopes to catch a break maybe and get out of prison- but instead is forgotten about for four more years! Betrayed, abandoned, lied about, forgotten… all while doing nothing wrong.
If you can relate to any aspect of this story, you know that Joseph had every legitimate reason to characterize himself as a victim. The truth is that Joseph had many wrongs done to him—yet Joseph chose not to let it affect him. In fact, in Genesis, when Joseph encounters his brothers, the Bible says that he was moved with such great compassion at their sight that he wept. He didn’t weep out of anger but out of love. Joseph is one of the greatest examples of walking in forgiveness, yet we see that after Joseph meets up with his brothers, he sets a boundary line to see if they have changed. Joseph lived above offense and unforgiveness because he learned to protect his heart. Notice that Joseph didn’t want to repay them with evil. He hadn’t become bitter, yet he wanted to be sure they had changed their ways. The book of Genesis tells us that Joseph tested his brothers. Joseph set a boundary.
God intends for us to walk in love and wholeness even after we have been hurt, but how do we do that? Boundary lines create a safe space where we can love someone without putting our hearts in a repetitive compromising position. The same God that calls you to love, forgive, and turn the other cheek also endows you with divine wisdom. That person who has been talking about you behind your back doesn’t need to be your closest confidant to walk in forgiveness. You can live in forgiveness and love by temporarily guarding how much you share with her. Test her... if she keeps the small secret, maybe she has changed. Boundary lines help establishes safe places for your heart to operate in love and find wholeness without a wound being continually ripped wide open!
Take lessons from Joseph! By choosing to focus on God and his promise above circumstances and people who offend us, the adversity, he faced actually propelled him into God’s promise! Joseph’s choice ( and it is a choice) to not become a victim of betrayal, hurt, rejection, and abuse opened a space for God’s healing power and restoration in his life and relationships! God gave Joseph the wisdom to create a boundary before he gave his brothers full access back into his heart—yet when he was brave enough to love from the space of a boundary, God restored ALL things to him! Be encouraged by Joseph today. Ask yourself what the most whole version of you looks like—no matter how you’ve been hurt. Then ask what boundary lines can be put into place to allow yourself to heal, love, and receive restoration from a safe place for your heart!
*Read the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50!