Perspective Shift: Encouragement for When You’re Feeling Frustrated

On any given day, our house can be pretty chaotic with a baby and three little boys ages 4 and under, but it’s like anarchy reigns when I have to feed the baby or I’m trying to get something done. For fun, let me tell you just a couple of things my boys did this week while I was otherwise occupied.

1. The twins decided that they were still hungry after eating breakfast, so at 8:30 in the morning, they got into the freezer and helped themselves to Klondike bars.

2. One of the twins was washing his hands in the kitchen sink and thought it would be fun to squirt the hand soap all over the floor and have a water fight, attempting to spray his brothers with the retractable kitchen faucet. The floor quickly turned into a small pond.

3. The boys were all playing outside, and from a distance, it looked like they had blades of grass stuck all over them. No, they’d found an ink pen in the yard and drew all over each other.

I’d like to say these were singular incidents, but all three of these happened at least twice this week. It’s funny to look back on now (most of it anyway), but in the moment, I was frustrated. Sometimes it feels like I am constantly praying for patience and then for forgiveness when I’m not, and that’s when I have to remind myself that grace is not just for them, it’s for me, too. Perspective can change anything, so sure, I can focus on the feelings of failure for letting my irritation get the best of me, or I can choose to concentrate on the times I react with kindness and patience and count them as wins.

One thing I’ve been doing lately to shift my perspective is recall to memory a few key Bible verses to help with the frustration in the moment. Here’s what that looks like:

When I’m washing dishes for what feels like the hundredth time that week or picking up the boys’ dirty clothes strewn all over the house and yard (why?!), I remind myself that serving my kids and my family—the people that God has given me—is serving Him.

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24

As I stoop to squeeze another shoe onto a pudgy toddler foot only for them to be abandoned five minutes after they get outside, resulting in a shoe hunt through the yard and scrubbing dirty feet, I think about how Jesus served those around Him and said that when we’ve done things like feeding, clothing, and caring for the least of these, we’ve done it to Him.

“‘Don’t you know? When you cared for one of the least of these, my little ones, my true brothers and sisters, you demonstrated love for me.’” Matthew 25:40

When I’ve had the same conversation over and over with my kids, like “shut the door when you go outside” or “pick up your toys,” it’s easy to become discouraged or even complacent and fall into thinking “Why bother? Is any of this having an impact on them?” Instead, I remember that my faithfulness matters—it does make a difference.

“Do not grow weary in well doing, for in due time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

When I’m trying to make lunch and the baby is crying, while two of the boys fight over the seat they both want and the third is screaming because he’s hungry and can’t wait the five minutes it will take for his plate to be ready, the noise is overpowering. In those moments, I use the breath prayer “Your grace is sufficient.” In my moments of feeling overwhelmed, He is more than enough to get me through.

“My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

When it’s been a particularly rough day with the kids, the best tool I have to enact a mindset shift is gratitude. I start praying and listing off all the things I’m thankful for. It’s amazing how gratitude to God helps me refocus on the good and see His blessings everywhere.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 18:5 1 Thessalonians

No matter what roles or titles you have, I hope this encourages you that (1) you’re not alone and (2) choosing a new perspective is possible.