Getting Relationships Right
If there is one thing I have learned to value, it would be good relationships.
Like John Maxwell says, “Show me your friends and Ill show you your future.” The people around you are the influencers of your life. The right relationships will push you toward your potential, and the wrong ones will hold you back.
1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” This tells me that, when it comes to relationships, it’s easy to trick ourselves into believing that the relationships we have aren’t affecting us—or maybe that person is just someone who has been in your life for so long that you don’t take note of their influence on you anymore. Either way, it’s time to do a relationship check-up!
1) Who are the people closest to me?
Make a list of your five closest influencers. Your life will be the average of your five closest friends, so who is it if you stopped and took account that would make the list? These are the people you spend the most time with; the one you give the most access to your life.
2) How do I feel about myself after I have been around these friends?
Great people make you feel like you can do great things too! On the flip side, misery loves company. How your friends make you feel about yourself is a great indication of their influence. The right people will choose to see what’s good inside of you— even areas you yourself don’t see. Not only will they recognize it, but they will encourage you in those areas. Toxic people will pull you down, discourage you, and belittle you—sometimes without you even realizing it.
3) How do I act when I’m around these friends?
The right relationships will sharpen you. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” Proverbs 27:17. Are the people who are closest to you cultivating your old nature or your new nature? There is a point as you grow in your relationship with God that you may have to distance yourself from certain people. If a friend is hindering your growth or always encouraging you to revert into old patterns and habits, you need to separate yourself. Not everyone can grow with you. Different seasons may come with different people. If your life is constantly filled with drama, stop and ask yourself why or even maybe who? You can live a life of peace, but this is largely determined by the people who are a part of it. Chaos and turmoil come with clues: what is the track record of your friends? Are they always gossiping? Most likely they are talking about you, too. Are they always playing the role of the victim? How they act and think will change how you act and think as well. Take heed to the track record and the clues that surround you! If your relationships seem to cause constant drama and turmoil, set a boundary or disconnect completely. Sometimes, the peace you long for can be found in a delete, unfollow, or decline button! If God is calling you out of some relationships, He will replace them with healthy ones. Sometimes, you have to disconnect from the wrong people before He can connect you with the right people.
4) What kind of friend am I?
Your vibe attracts your tribe! Be the friend that you wish someone would be to you! Relationships take work and investment. Go the extra mile to be a good friend even if it is inconvenient. Be the person of character and integrity that you want to attract. Have the hard, yet, loving conversations that you would want a friend to have with you. Once you recognize the healthy influencers in your life, fight for them! Cultivate and appreciate those relationships! Express gratitude, and don’t take them for granted; they are a gift from God!
I’ll close out with a poem I recently heard, and a prayer that you will take time to assess your relationships. May you have the courage and wisdom to separate from those who are holding you back or bringing you down, and may God bring the right people into your life to propel you forward. I also pray for those of you who feel “alone” that God would fulfill your desire first through Him, and then He would connect you with the right people!
The Top of My List - author unknown
Some friends know all about us and like us all the same
They accept us as we are not asking us to change
They never criticize us while listening to our views
They stay when others leave and speak when some refuse
There aren’t many like that and precious few I claim
But at the top of that list I would put your name
So, ask yourself today who is on my list? Let’s get relationships right!
Xoxo- Joie