Garden Keepers

When my daughters were younger, I often heard them say how they wanted to be just like their mom when they grew up. As sweet and endearing as these sentiments were, the reality is that they were—and continue to be—watching me—studying my responses, actions, and attitudes all the time. It can be a bit intimidating and slightly frightening.

A mother’s heart is caught, not taught. Although it is important to teach our girls and train them in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), there is a principle between mothers and daughters that is caught, rather than taught.

It then becomes my responsibility, not only to train my daughters but to live my life in a way worthy of replication. Just as one of the primary roles of raising sons is for a mother to be a gatekeeper, in the process of raising girls, a mother becomes more of a garden keeper.

What is a garden keeper? A garden keeper is one who makes sure the right things are being grown and nurtured in a daughter's heart! A garden keeper ensures that good mindsets and attitudes are cultivated and bad mindsets that could keep them from reaching their full potential are weeded out. However, my responsibility becomes to first tend to the weeds in my own life and make sure the proper fruit is growing and then guide and nurture the growth of my girls.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

I remember an instance years ago when my oldest daughter and I were driving in the car to go shopping. She told me that she was afraid of all the events happening in the world. Out of my spirit, I got mad! Not at her, but mad that she was afraid. I immediately proclaimed, “You are not made for fear, you are a daughter destined to do great things- at this appointed moment in time!”

My mother was awesome! I caught her beautiful heart in so many wonderful ways! The women in my family are strong and witty. They've survived many hardships and trials. There are also areas that I've had to make sure weren't caught by the generations of women before me. One of the things the women in my family have dealt with was fear and anxiety. This is an attribute I had to decide not to allow transfer into my life.

I got angry that the spirit of fear and anxiety was trying to get on my daughter! God has not fashioned us for fear; His plans are too great for us to be crippled by anxiety!

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind,” 2 Timothy 1:7

As mothers, we are responsible for what we allow to pass down to our daughters. When we ask Holy Spirit to help us, He shows us the things in our own hearts that we need to deal with so that they won't have to. I want my girls to be women that can laugh at the days to come--with joy and expectancy rather than being crippled by fear! We need to keep the weeds of fear and anxiety from taking root in their young hearts!

Taking responsibility for your own life will ensure that you are passing the right things down to your children. Raising daughters has compelled me to make sure I live a life worthy of them to catch!

Maybe you didn’t have a good relationship with your mother, or maybe you feel like you've failed at raising girls. It’s never too late to start anew!

Holy Spirit is a great teacher! He will show you the areas in your life that need weeding and will produce good fruit in the soil of your heart. These are the things that your daughter will plant deep inside her heart and spirit— the things that she will remember as she looks at you as the model for what kind of woman she wants to be when she grows up. Maybe you're not perfect, but you can be an overcomer! Break out of the old cycles and strongholds that cause you to stumble even if you inherited them from a long line of women in your family!

You have a responsibility for your own life and legacy! You are the garden keeper- you control what you allow to grow in these precious hearts!

Grow them well!